Past and Present

Michael Arteago

I was scared about how I felt

but now I think I know

If we can only be just friends 

you might have to let me go

There’s just this thing between us

this spark 

I can feel it in my heart 

so I know that it must be true 

Because no one has ever made me felt

the way I feel about you

You say that you like my poems

well they’re mostly about you 

You said you missed me

well the thing is that I missed you too

It felt like wherever i was 

I couldn’t stop thinking about you

You’re always on my mind 

and you’re always so kind to me

But now I think I might be too blind to see

that you don’t want me 

I thought I let go of what was

I thought I was ready to go into what will be

But now that you’re back here with me

how can I move forward if you’re not by my side

Thinking about you not being there it just feels like I want to cry

I’m not an emotional person 

I normally don’t even care

but with you it’s different 

I write how I feel

and the thought of never being able to write about how you make me feel is scary

Of course I don’t want to bottle these emotions up

but sometimes it’s for the better

How do I know that I won’t mess it up

how do I know that you probably don’t have another guys sweater 

I want to write about how you can make me kneel

I don’t want to write about the what ifs and the maybes because then I’m just stuck thinking what could be 

I want to be able to think about what would be what will be and what is

I want to think about how you and me are not what we could be because I mainly believe in what I can touch and see but if you’re not by my side then how can what you say be true 

I just don’t want to stand there waiting forever to be loved by you

because the thing is i would too 

Even if it took an eternity I know that no matter what moment no matter when i would be able to say I love you too but i know that’d I’d only be able to say it to you

That was the past but now we’re in the present

I know how i feel

I know that what we have is real

I’m just scared

scared of losing you

Scared of making a mistake in everything that I do

how do I know that I won’t annoy you away

How do I know that we won’t last only 1 week or a couple of days

i said that what we have is real and i’d like to believe that it’s true because with you by my side it’s this feeling that i’ve never felt

but the thing is 

I don’t want this feeling to go away 

all i want to do is sit here with this feeling

and not let it go 

Not even for one second, not even for one day

I think i’m falling for you, that’s right i said it so now you know it’s true 

and all that sits in my head what is she gonna say or do

But to be truly honest the thing that is mostly in my head is you 

you’re the shining in the gold

You’re the light inside my soul

you make me feel things no has or ever will

I know what I think and what I feel are real

because i’m living in the present with you

Not the past, and this time i am going to make sure that it lasts