Trapped in this glass cage that I can’t escape

even while I breathe I do not feel as if I am awake

surrounded by these thoughts that hold my mind

these thoughts echo in my head throughout time 

held hostage in my own head 

while awake or asleep 

I feel chained to this bed trapped so tightly in this cage 

I feel it hard to breathe 

I feel it hard to be myself 

I feel it hard to just be me

If you could see my thoughts

you would see our faces

all the memories

all the things I wanted there to be

all the things that there shouldn’t be

but who am I to say

what’s true and what’s not

who am I to wish for things to be

I just wished

I hoped that things could’ve ended differently

that you could’ve been here standing with me

instead you’re just in my thoughts

in my head

just a memory

waiting to be forgotten

waiting to be dead

even if I don’t want that to be

It’s true

i’ve never felt this way about anyone

only you

only you could say my name

only you could see my pain

I can’t escape you in my mind 

I can’t escape this place that you sit

I do not know you well but I know this

I am prisoner to my mind 

I hold myself here for eternity with no clock, no way to pass the time for in this cage I sit

now here you are trapped with me for eternity 

trapped in my thoughts 

in this cage that we both can’t escape

but now I feel alive I feel awake

The world burns with passion & excitement

am I not to burn with passion 

am I not to chase that excitement

what if it’s meaningless 

what if I feel nothing of those endeavors

will that make me any less

I think i’m losing my mind in these thoughts

I’m drowning in shallow water can’t even keep my head above what feels to be 2 inches of water

I feel everything and nothing 

wondering which way I feel is true and which is fake

I think about them constantly, asleep or awake

Losing my mind over a girl I don’t know 

losing time losing control

things I couldn’t think 

things I couldn’t be 

now I sit here writing, waiting for you to find me 

endless thoughts pressured in this mind 

endless depravity 

endless demise 

this mind corrupt within minutes, within time

images flash and flicker trying to stay afloat 

while drowning in these thoughts becoming suffocated

becoming relentlessly challenged with this place to stay 

with this image to uphold 

letting go 

letting you in

wondering if my mind will change then